I bought this for you....but you can't have it!

I buy lots of greeting cards. In fact, there's a whole desk drawer devoted to them. Sure, I had someone in mind when I bought every one but every time I try to send one something peculiar happens, Someone comes screeching from the back of my cave, snatches is up and puts it back in the drawer. Why? Well it's little gems like this one....

"A TRUE STORY

A little boy went to the

freezer once and got out a

bucket that said "Orange

Sherbet" on top. He scooped

himself a big, frosty-cold

bowlful and took a

huge bite. Then instead of

closing his eyes and going

"Mmmm!" he almost barfed,

because it wasn't orange

sherbet, it was

frozen chicken fat!!!"

(INSIDE)

(Now doesn't that just brighten your whole life?)

Yeah....you know, it actually does!...ROFL. There's a life lesson in that story and the drawer full of others that are just too cool or funny to let go of. You see, I'm pretty sure that Hallmark knows the answer to the meaning of life and someday they're gonna put it on a card and sell it to me. I just know that one will be reeeeally funny! Anyway, just in case they've already told me and I missed it, I can catch it on my next review of the drawer. I'll be glad to spread the word and email ya....but the card's mine! :-D

I need that!...and THAT!!...and if I'm gonna do it right I need LOTS of those

I am a creative person. This is my creative process


Stage one - Acquisition!!! (My favorite part)

To do it right, have all the right tools for the job. Why go off half cocked when you can go fully stocked! I am equipment intensive. I love tools and things that make things better or make things into other things. If less is better, more must be best! It is for that reason my house is full of crap. Crap with POTENTIAL!! And you can get it all on Ebay!

I own bolts of fabric and everything else needed for sewing, gross grosses of beads (gross of beads..get it? :-D) and everything needed for jewelry making, needles and yarn for crocheting, obscene amounts of paints, brushes, canvases, sponges, pens, pencils and paper and everything needed for that, clay and tools and....well you get the point.


Stage two - Study

All my projects begin in a flurry of ideas that that stay just out of reach. I have sat and stared at fabric on my floor for days before I could finally cut it. At present I'm being stared down by a 30X40 canvas propped against my bedroom dresser with nothing more than a huge circle drawn on it waiting for....um Hey! Did I tell you I like collage? I have beau coup (lots) of pictures cut, ready and waiting for....um I've been working on a Mandala. I've drawn my circle and some very pretty curves. I bought this great 72 piece watercolor pencils and started to color but I thought it might be cooler on a big canvas...30x40 maybe? Hmm...

Oh yeah. Be sure and buy all the books. But don't read them!


Stage three - Begin the obsession! Do it!!!

I tend to obsess once I finally get started. I went on a crochet tear once when I was much younger. Morning noon and night, everywhere I went. My hands were like lightening once I got my rhythm and I would go into a crocheting trance stopping only for the occasional cigarette, bathroom break and minimal sleep. Once, I was almost hit by a car because I forgot to stop crocheting to look up before I crossed the street.

A few years ago I took a cake decorating class. You know what happened. A 2o dollar class ended six weeks and several hundred dollars later. I got my hands on that big beautiful Kitchen Maid mixer with a motor strong enough to mix concrete and every attachment available. Plus! I had to have every tool and tip to make everything from pansies roses to grass and basket weave. I had to have a full sized tool box to hold it all. I baked and decorates several cakes a week. My family did well at first, as did my friends the few weeks after that. There was always a cake or mine lurking (beautifully) somewhere - even in the staff fridge at the fitness center. And nooooo it wasn't sabotage. Eventually demand fell and I was forced to suspend my assault.

Stage four - Organization

Now here's where things get sticky. Eventually you've gotta put your crap away. Of course I had to buy all the necessary, cabinets, shelves, dividers, baskets and boxes to get it all organized. Then I had to have labels to remind me what's it the bag in the box in the basket in the cabinet. They had be neatly printed and large enough for me to see without the glasses I can never find. After all that, once I get it organized I'm so sick of looking at it that I don't want anything to do with it.

Stage four - The realization

As I sit here glancing from my blank canvas with the circle, to the sketchbooks and half colored mandala on the bed, the big wooden banks waiting to be decopaged or painted, and the new cloth drawers waiting for the cube cabinet I have yet to put together so I can put the new crap away, I realize....

My ADD has OCD. I have more money than sense. It's possible that I enjoy the process more than the result.

Maybe life really is all about the journey. Wouldn't it suck if once you reach the destination all you find is more crap to deal with?

A good day

Well, true to form I'm not going to go back for my previous "point".



Today I spent real quality time with some friends. They came to town just to visit me. We strolled (I rolled) the mall for hours. Together we cooked my favorite dishes (ok, so I just put cookie dough on a pan and drank Pina Coladas) and filled my house with wonderful smells and sounds of laughter. We made music and talked about our years together. We laughed as we made our involuntary old people noises over the parts we'd worn out with the day or the remnants of wilder days. I was more myself than I had been in a long time. We are so much more than friends - We are family.

Dust bunnies in the cave...what's on my mind right now

In a few weeks I'll be 50. Some people freak out, break down, fall out and have the much talked about "Mid-life Crisis" . I have a friend that has had one every 3-5 years since she was 35. She gets a brand new (younger) partner, even rearranges her inner circle of friends. She changes her entire wardrobe, hair, fitness routine, music preference and buys a new sportscar. If there's an edge - she's on it. Nothing exciting, exotic, or dangerous escapes her eye. She's nearly 60 going on 17 and still at it.

Me, I've been waiting for my Mid-life Crisis. They tell me I'm too grounded. I'm the one with the purse that would win me a place on "Let's Make A Deal". Everything you could need is in it. I even have a handcuff key and a compact CPR mask on my keychain. I've never needed one - unless you count the dummy I learned on. That goes for the key too...but that's a story for a different day.

Anyway, while I'm not showing any outward signs of upheavel, my mind/cave, is becoming more interesting by the day. Most obvious is, as the song says, "my give-a-damn is busted". I could care less what most people think. I lose what I'm saying mid-sentence and don't bother to go back for it. I stopped wearing girdles and pantyhose and underwire bras can push somebody else up. Who came up with that miserable crap anyway?! My creative side is awake. There are all kinds of drawings and scribbling on the walls of my cave - I just keep forgetting to finish them. My mother and I have more in common than I should be comfortable with. I learned to see my Maenad by witnessing hers. She didn't ......CRAP! I forgot what I wanted to say!!

I'll get back yo you....LOL! Can't believe it! I had a point and it is so gone!